Today gave me pause for the obvious reasons. There is no more disturbing anniversary in our history than maybe Pearl Harbor. I watched a few shows on the history of the day and the aftermath. I listened to some speeches and I was moved to tears when seeing many family member’s pain.
I’m stuck in thought about those who have passed. I’m pained by all that were affected after the events of that day from the toxic clouds of debris and the environment they had to work in and now have health issues none of us want to face ourselves.
As it moves further away in time it seems the national awareness is fading. Yeah, it gets the news coverage still. The high ranking government officials still visit sites. Our first responders hold services and events marking the memory of many brave people.
But it’s not a point of discussion anymore. It’s not even the focus on how to resolve what was started 18 years ago. Were not addressing the issues that caused this. I’m wondering how many of us even took the time to pause at the designated times to remember?
And if these thoughts weren’t enough to depress me, it’s my mother’s birthday. I sat down several times but would glance over at her pictures and be stopped in my tracks. Lots of memories come back on her birthday.
So this is far from a productive day for me. Some work, some tears, the panic that as the time passes that memories of the lost loved ones fade more. When I was sorting her things after she passed I found one of her favorite scarfs. It smelled like her. I put it in a ziplock back. I open it on her birthday and the day she passed in May and smell and touch it.
Then I think about how brave and strong she was to raise my sister and me alone. I think about the bravery of those at the crash sites that day. I think about the bravery of all the men and women we have sent into battle since then.
Life can be so short. Life is so precious. Life is meant to be spent in celebration and acknowledging appreciation that we have been given a special gift.
So another September 11 passes. Tomorrow I’ll try to get back on my game. Plus it will be the first day of some time off from the job that pays the bills and will allow me to get in good spirits again.