This writing challenge is a little out of my league. Actually entirely out of my scope. Interview a fictional character. I’ve never done a piece of fiction in my life. If you read on you will see I’m kind of tired also.
OK, here it goes.
Me: Good day Mr. Runner, how are you?
RR: Please call me Road. I’m fine and dandy.
Me: So tell me Road, how is your relationship today with Wile E Coyote?
RR: Oh its just like the old days. A bolder here, a truck there, and of course lots of explosions. I’ve got to give it to the old critter, he is a persistent cuss. I mean, how many people do you know that will take that abuse? That is staying power and determination.
Me: Well I guess that is one way to look at it. But some say it’s cruel, sort of like Lucy pulling the football away just before Charlie Brown tries to kick it.
RR: Oh no, it’s all in good fun. You see I own the Acme Supply Company. And we donate all the proceeds to charity. So think of it this way, Wile E Coyote is one of the most charitable characters around.
Me: Ok, if you say so. Now onto your age Mr. Road Runner. Some have speculated that you might be losing a step or two. Do you feel more vulnerable, can you feel Mr. Coyote breathing down your neck?
RR: No not at all. I’m as fast as ever Beep Beep. He can set as many picnic tables as he pleases, and bring out all the shiny knives and forks to chase me with but the only diet he will be getting is my dust.
Me: According to recent comments by Wile E Coyote (Genius) your days are numbered. It is also rumored he has enlisted the help of Guy Fieri and his Camero to track you down and help him with a braised RoadRunner recipe.
RR: That old Chevy isn’t going to catch me and that Genius had better get his behind back to school.
Me: Well Road, I know you only said you had a minute and I’ve probably used two by now so I hope that pile of birdseed was tasty while we chatted, and please be safe on the roadways. Next week a rebuttal from Mr. Coyote, if he is, well enough to get out of the hospital.