Focused on a task. Determination, instinct, knowledge, skill and desire. All put to the test each day if you apply yourself. Isn’t it great to have the opportunity to achieve. I started this blog as part of a challenge to myself to try to get back to crafts I enjoyed when I was very young. So much so that I though about doing them as a career.
But I wanted to do this to see if I could actually put in the time and effort each day. To see if I could see myself progressing. To get the enjoyment of the journey of hard work. But it turned into something else along the way. Last May 2015 I wrote a piece about working in the publishing business in a daily operation and that being my goal to post each day here. I’m sure that was part of my original goal but reality took its place in the first year and a half.
So that was a call back to my original idea. But at that time I knew I was facing another cancer surgery in June 2015. I had no idea this one was going to be so much more a fight than the first one I experienced. From June of 2015 to April of 2016 I was fighting that beast, well my doctors were, I was along for the ride.
And looking back at my posting stats during that time, my publishing frequency was very inconsistent. I’m sure there were legitimate reasons some days. But if I’m honest I started to let how I feel affect my positive mental flow. And that part I’m a bit disappointed in myself. I had hoped I’d be stronger. I hoped I could have gotten back into the swing of working on the blog and my photography more.
On the positive side, it gave me something to look forward to working on and that was an inspiration to do something on the worst days. But I took days that I was only feeling about half off also that bothers me. I see kids who were sick, with more strength than I had. So it was a learning experience. It taught me to not waste time, even the toughest times, because there is always something you can do.
But unlike the first time I had cancer where I vowed to turn my life around in many ways, and then after a few years fell back into some same old traps and waste of time and sweating the small crap. Not this time. This time the change is permanent I hope. Each day I’m more aware of not falling back into those traps of laziness, sweating small things, not appreciating the gifts were given each day.
In the last few months (May-Sept) I’ve been feeling much better and I’ve been able to get to a posting frequency that I had hoped for when I started. Last month (Sept) I only missed two days. That is about the max I intend to miss in the future. That might be bad news for some of you who follow my ramblings here and a few images.
But as I was looking at that blue heron I felt like I’m fully focused on meeting this goal and much more. No sense leaving an idea or effort on the sideline now. I’m going to stop myself and others from changing me into a negative mode and thinking and acting on the wrong things. So here’s to keeping that second chance and awakening going in the right direction.