The last few days I’ve felt kind of frozen in time and thought. Always lots to think about in life but there are times where I just need to pause and regroup. I guess these past few weeks have been a mixture of that. I’ve managed to keep the professional life unaffected but my ability to relax and just create and write wasn’t. I still don’t know what I’m doing or where this post is going. I know I’ve been shorter with people than normal. Apologies to my better half at least and to a dear friend.

I know I shouldn’t be like this. Usually, I’m good at kicking what ails me mentally in a day. And in recent years my down days are few and far between thankfully. But the last few weeks I’m good a day and then I’m in suspended animation again. Lost in debilitating thought. I remember the years this was a constant struggle and war. And this period of thought instead of action reminded me of the old days.

And it’s not complete inaction. Each day I haven’t published a post, I’ve started one and created some lengthy ones. But I wasn’t satisfied with them and ran out of time that day. It’s not like I haven’t picked up the camera but what I’ve taken I haven’t been pleased with. And both of those go to my mental state. Well, I’m feeling better tonight so maybe we can string a few good days together and then a few good weeks, and then I’m off on a good roll into spring.

Random Thoughts of the Day

• Sometimes I just like listening to instrumental music.
• I had my first meatball sub in ages last night. I think this evening is round 2.
• Sometimes I think I do this so my kids will know what I’m thinking.
• Not knowing what my own father ever thought is torture.
• Doing something helps me figure it out along the way.

Photography Assignments of the day – this way if I make my goals known I’ve got some more accountability. Or at least guilt myself into keeping some kind of pace going.

• Frame two-family collages I made for my children.
• Think about different ways to shoot snow tomorrow.