Usually there is a candle on the table I work at with my easel. I was closing up the other night and had turned off the lights and was walking away when I noticed I hadn’t blown it out. I walked back and put my head down to do it and saw my dad’s flag in its case about 10 feet behind it on the wall.
Took a few moments to think about him.
After I smiled, picked up the camera from the coffee table that was acting as a studio spot and took this shot before heading to bed.
Sorry I’m late getting into the holiday spirit. Now that I’m feeling better, I’m going to dive headlong into the season.
The season means a lot of things to me. It’s changed quite a bit over the years. There are many things and people I miss from my past. There are new things like the grandchildren to help fill those voids. There are my own children who each past Christmas are etched in this brain.
Some seasons in the past have been difficult. The pressures of having the right gifts, being able to do all I hoped and feeling like I’ve come up short.
From a very young age missing someone important each year was very hard. More so in watching the impact on my mom and sister. Mom made heroic efforts to make sure our holiday was good, but it always came with her tears and cries, no matter how hard she tried to hide and muffle them. I could see the longing in her eyes, missing her husband. The loneliness she tried to push down was just below the surface.
I also remember her refocusing some years later and the times she would load the car with crafts and gifts and decorations to take and make Bethesda Naval Hospital a festive holiday scene in the units she worked as a Red Cross volunteer. She really got into it. Making so many things by hand. I wish I had a sliver of the artistic talent she had.
I can remember her telling me stories about some of the patients. I think she always looked at these servicemen as an extension of what she lost and could help. She was active in the VFW Woman’s Auxiliary for years also and would do holiday things for them for some years. But she really got into the Red Cross work.
Makes me think I should get more involved in helping others this season. There is no such thing as a effort too small or too late. Sometimes the smallest gestures or gifts mean the most to some. Think I’ll start by making a donation in Mom’s name today to the Red Cross.
Found an old photo I guess my mom snapped of me looking into a huge mixing bowl or the washing machine.
Ah to be young again. I still feel young in mind. At least when I push all the bullcrap going on in this country and people around the world to the side for a few moments of mental health.
With snow in the forecast Sunday, I think back to the day when I was just a little older than above and in our first home. I lay in the middle of our backyard making snow angles at night. The quiet and beautiful sky above is still clear in my mind.
Another memory from my early youth is one of my parents being so excited about the Army-Navy game. This takes place this Saturday and I’ll be pulling for my parent’s team GO NAVY. There is a huge chest with pictures, and I remember some of them from being at the Army Navy game when it was played in Philadelphia in the 1950s if my memory is correct.
