Sorry I’m late getting into the holiday spirit. Now that I’m feeling better, I’m going to dive headlong into the season.

The season means a lot of things to me. It’s changed quite a bit over the years. There are many things and people I miss from my past. There are new things like the grandchildren to help fill those voids. There are my own children who each past Christmas are etched in this brain.

Some seasons in the past have been difficult. The pressures of having the right gifts, being able to do all I hoped and feeling like I’ve come up short.

From a very young age missing someone important each year was very hard. More so in watching the impact on my mom and sister. Mom made heroic efforts to make sure our holiday was good, but it always came with her tears and cries, no matter how hard she tried to hide and muffle them. I could see the longing in her eyes, missing her husband. The loneliness she tried to push down was just below the surface.

I also remember her refocusing some years later and the times she would load the car with crafts and gifts and decorations to take and make Bethesda Naval Hospital a festive holiday scene in the units she worked as a Red Cross volunteer. She really got into it. Making so many things by hand. I wish I had a sliver of the artistic talent she had.

I can remember her telling me stories about some of the patients. I think she always looked at these servicemen as an extension of what she lost and could help. She was active in the VFW Woman’s Auxiliary for years also and would do holiday things for them for some years. But she really got into the Red Cross work.

Makes me think I should get more involved in helping others this season. There is no such thing as a effort too small or too late. Sometimes the smallest gestures or gifts mean the most to some. Think I’ll start by making a donation in Mom’s name today to the Red Cross.