I was thankful my son called me about a life decision yesterday. Everyone needs people they can trust with the really difficult calls in life. Not that he needs me for many because both my children are very capable and have made many successful calls in their young adult lives and I believe will continue to do so.
Some calls are tough. I always have a number of people that I can get very honest and frank opinions from who I respect. Sometimes I even ask someone I know who might give me the opposite of what I’m hoping for just to have a different perspective.
Some days your toughest decision is where to eat. The next day you may be faced with a life and death decision. You don’t know what decisions you will have to make each day till that day comes. Life is a constant decision.
For instance, for the first time in my life, I realized I had to make a decision each day of what and how much to eat. For the first 50 years of my life, I could eat what I wanted and how much I wanted and I stayed at a healthy weight. Those days are gone and until I realized recently that I have to make a decision each day now about eating did I get control back. Because no decision is usually the wrong decision.
I got to thinking about the end of life decisions today. Not because I’m faced with it but I know this needs communication in the future. For instance, I think some of the simplest things don’t get communicated. Take driving for example. We have a huge population heading into the senior years. We are living longer. But our driving skills deteriorate. What is the right time to give up the keys? Typically the seniors in my realm of experience have paid dearly for not giving them up early enough.
I lost a Grandmother when my Grandfather pulled out in front of a dump-truck. And he was also injured badly and never really recovered from it. The year before when we saw them on a summer visit I remembered going to get chicken with my Grandfather and I remembered being uncomfortable with his driving. I think I was 9 or 10 but it stuck with me because its the first thing I remembered when I heard of the accident.
My own Mom was injured badly in an accident. She recovered but we agreed that she never drive again. And I should have stopped her before that accident. But being she had been a single Mom for decades the car was her independence.
A huge piece of me will die when I have to give up the keys. Driving for me is one go the great enjoyments of life. But I certainly want my children to speak up and tell me before I injure someone else our us. And I’ll have to respect that day. It will be a tough decision for them and me.
The more decisions you make the better you should get. If you learn from the ones that both work and don’t work out too well. All of them have lessons. Also, know that some decisions are different for you than anyone else. Right decisions are made in your heart and mind.
Most decisions should be made for yourself. But there are some where you might make a different decision based on others needs. At times in my life I’ve thought about job changes because situations had become less than optimal lets say, and I’ve stayed with it because it was the secure thing financially and benefit wise. Which is fine because that is a family decision at the time. So I sucked it up and lived with it. Which is fine and I’m happy with that.
People fret about what car to buy. Or where to live or go on a vacation. People are interesting in even the timing and approach to making decisions. One of my best friends might make any of those decisions in a day or two. I’d be a few weeks on the car. A few months or more on a home. Vacations are sometimes years. And you know what, my friend who makes quick decisions is one of the best decision makers I know. Sometimes I wish I’d listened to him more. But that won’t change how I make decisions because each person has their own way that is right for them.
I wish I had some wise advice that would be a breakthrough for the decision making process. Especially to pass on to my own children and grandchildren. I guess I have in some ways, because my children aren’t afraid of making decisions. They have made a lot of great ones. They seem to be well thought out. Of course I’ll defer to my better half on always being the best example in our family but I’m going to take some partial credit also.
Do what’s right. Do it with thoughtfulness. Do it with love (and this one hurts sometimes). Do it with hope. Do it with the big picture. Do it with responsibility and commitment. Do it with conviction. And then be happy with it and learn from it.
Random Thoughts of the Day
- Any day you can see your parents, your children, and your grandchildren is a win. And today was a WIN.
- I used to wonder when Newspapers might no longer be printed. No I wonder when the word Newspaper will become obsolete, and it may well be within my lifetime.
- Sometimes when I try to write something insightful I wonder if I show how little I know and how poorly I write.
- It’s a good thing both my better half and I snore. I think we cancel each other out.
- Drive a car that makes you feel good in some way. Well at least before you have children or after they are grown.