My daughter sent me this photo from 9 years ago yesterday she took of me getting a piece of paper I have proudly hanging over my desk today. It’s not much really, a Diploma signifying I completed my radiation treatment at University of Maryland Medical Center. But it means something to me, so this was a nice treat from her.

I was so glad they came on this last day. We have a family photo that has a story behind it. The shot was in the same area but off to the side so it just looked like a family shot inside a building. My daughter put it on Facebook and a couple of old friends who hadn’t seen me in a long time and didn’t know I was going through the cancer treatments and made comments about how good I was looking.

I thought to myself well it’s because I was feeling the love of my family and probably had a nice smile. Having lost a few pounds it probably was an improvement. But I certainly wasn’t feeling 100%

Plus I got to ring the bell that day as those who finish up do.

This radiation was needed after my second cancer surgery. I didn’t realize that much time had passed since then. But I can still remember that time in my life vividly. I only took a few weeks off after the surgery and was hopeful they had gotten it all.

But their recommendation was to also do the radiation a few months later. I remember driving from DC when I got off at 6am and heading to Baltimore for the treatments at 7:30 am – 5 days a week. I didn’t miss a day of work during what I remember was 10 or 11 weeks of glowing in the dark.

I guess I’m what you call cancer free. But that is an illusionary term as far as I’m concerned. It’s been 17 years since my first cancer and I’ve been getting tested yearly, or every 6 months or every 3 months since. So, it’s always there in my mind.

I feel very fortunate to have survived two types. I don’t feel so fortunate when the doctors increase the frequency of the tests or add tests.

Like many cancer survivors, I’ll be getting another test to start the new year. As I get older it’s getting harder not to spend time with some concern. A lot of the previous years I’ve had good success about not worrying at all. Maybe a little apprehension before the bloodwork or scans, but nothing significant.

I have had a few though that have been almost debilitating. Or inducing near panic attacks. This one feels a little bit in between. I have concerns, but I’m trying real hard to put them out of my mind each day and get on with living.

So, back to work I go. Have a good evening, all.