THREW Mikes EyEz

Original Writings, Images, Video and Artworks of Mike Hartley

Tag Archives: fear


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More and less fear

I’ve written before on some fears I’ve overcome, and how I did it. – But the daily prompt insists on asking it again.

For a while after retirement, I thought the number of fears I had were increasing. Now a couple of years into it, I feel less fear than I did before.

Some have changed. I used to drive back and forth to Washington DC and some of the busiest surrounding areas. So, driving in some of the most congested and dangerous areas was nothing. Now the beltways and interstates aren’t that comfortable anymore now that I’m not competing in the daily death race back and forth to work.

As I was getting into my 50s, I used to fear getting older and sick again. That fear is faded because I guess we all eventually accept the inevitable. I just make the best of each day now.

I never feared speed before. I don’t think I fear it now; I just don’t have that desire anymore. I don’t think it’s out of fear, but I guess anything is possible.

You ever stop fearing for your children or grandchildren. I just spend as much time loving them and with them and that helps.

I used to fear people who I thought were super intelligent. Then I realized that most of them have big deficiencies in other areas.

The thing that scares me the most now are those ads for these meds with all the nasty side effects like death and things like that yet living. I hope I never have a need for them.

My main fear now is the messed-up world we are leaving our children with. I’m going to try to overcome that fear by working on changing it for the better.

A tall amusement park ride featuring a drop tower with seats for several people, topped with an American flag and surrounded by colorful banners.
Screams from above. Photo by Mike Hartley


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Handle it, don’t crash

How do you handle fear and self-doubt? – Asks the daily prompt.

Interesting question to field so early in the morning. I believe I handle those two differently.

Fear is quick and I don’t let it get to me. Yes, it’s a natural response in situations but it’s how you deal with it. I learned about handling fear when riding a motorcycle.

One of the first things I learned is not to overreact. Grabbing the front brake too hard and you fly over the handlebars. Stomp the rear brake too hard you’re going to skid and lose control. The front brake is about 70% of the stopping power so it’s a balance of using both brakes the right way and staying in control that helps you stop the quickest. At least that is the old logic. It’s been a few decades since grabbing the throttle.

Luckily, I had a good friend explain that to me early on and practice makes perfect. Well almost, it’s still how you react in that situation. But if you’ve done it lots of times it’s more likely you will survive.

Next with fear is fixating on something instead of thinking and looking ahead. You go where you look on a bike and if you’re focused on the problem then you’re heading right towards it. What are your alternatives/actions you can take.

Emergency fear on a bike. Someone once told me that people react in one of 3 ways. Some just shut their eyes and shut down. Some are transfixed on the problem ahead and then there are those who react/avert and save themselves.

Self-doubt I have more issues with. It’s plagued me throughout my life. Few people can beat me up like me. Even when I know I’ve done well or a good job, I’m always picking it apart.

Self-doubt has kept me from even participating in things or taking positions at work.

Age helps overcome self-doubt. That experience leads to more confidence at least while taking the next step and moving forward. Having good people around you will help you with self-doubt because they will acknowledge that you have skills and smarts. And encourage you to do more.

I got much better in dealings with self-doubt in my 30s and 40s and had overcome it in my 50s and 60s at work when I had a duo of confidence and experience to balance it out.

But then an interesting thing happened. Age betrayed me. In my last year of work, I noticed things that used to be root knowledge I was suddenly questioning myself again and looking at my notes to make sure I was right. I was always right but self-doubt had crept back into my life.

And in retirement I feel that more again now not being so sure of things. I guess I have more work to do in this area again.

A person riding a red Harley-Davidson motorcycle in traffic, wearing a black helmet and a beige jacket.
Ride safe. Photo by Mike Hartley


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Maybe not

What fears have you overcome and how? – The Daily Writing prompt asks again. Or at least I think I answered this sometime before. It’s difficult to remember when you’ve been writing a while.

I was thinking of a few fears I overcame but when I’m honest with myself I’ve never really overcome any of them. I manage them and sometimes overcome them for short periods, but they always seem to come back to be dealt with again.

Health, for example, not the normal aches and pains or flu bugs, but the fear of cancer again I just can’t shake entirely.

Other simple things from time to time like doing a blog post. Seems stupid being I do it daily but there is still the fear of sharing my words and images.

Everyone who lives has a fear for their loved one’s safety in this dangerous world. I manage it but it’s always there.

I try to stay busy living, thinking positively, and hoping for the best and put fear in its place at the bottom of the list or out of mind.

Have a good day. Photo by Mike Hartley

Other replies to today’s question can be found here: https://wordpress.com/tag/dailyprompt-1957