Feeling my age – I was telling my much younger counterpart at the job that pays the bills about the change I was starting to feel. Not being able to keep a bazillion solutions in my head at my immediate disposal or having the confidence I can put my fingers right on my own documentation. Working in a troubleshooting area of IT for decades there was always a no-fear attitude I was blessed with. Calm in emergency situations, able to focus on the many details, sequence of events, diagnostic analysis, and remediation. Working through issues with outdated or poor documentation before the internet was around. There was underlying confidence that we could work through any issue effectively and that mindset served me well over decades. I guess it kept something that is coming out now under wraps for a long time. Sometimes now there is that panic feeling. It doesn’t last but a short time and I snap back and work on issues like I did in my youth, but that momentary pause is frightening and I’m now able to relate to much older people when I see their confidence shaken substantially and often.
I guess it must feel a lot like a ballplayer when all of a sudden he realizes he just missed that fastball he hit over the fence on so many occasions before. And then he misses another one and another one. And even though he has missed many in his career he knows which ones he used to pound and now can only squeeze out a single or double. And even though he still looks good and still hits and still fields like a star, he knows something is wrong. He knows father time is making his presence known. And that fear your going to stop doing something you spent your life doing and probably loved, has an endpoint.
Just that thought for some people keeps them working because they don’t know what they will do if they retire. I’ve spoken to several recently with that fear or apprehension. Well, fear is the wrong word, let’s say poor outlook or lack of possibilities seen. And I find that sad. I’m so excited about the next phase of life that I’m giddy. And maybe it’s because I feel like I’m living from one cancer test to the next but my beliefs are that I’m going to get a lot done after the job that pays the bills is in the rearview.
So I got to get to work against this mind-aging erosion that normally happens with the advanced years. I want to stay sharp and enjoy life as long as possible and show my grandchildren how to age gracefully. And that is going to take more motivation.
And Not Feeling my Age – I’m still glad I can feel like a kid again from time to time. If it’s picking up a basketball, getting in my manual transmission car, or laying in a hammock. Sometimes it’s a song that comes on and that youthful energy is there like it was 40-50 years ago. I think that is why I love children so much because I really am one and never got to experience it for myself without a lot of turmoil and growing up way too early and at the same time never growing up.
Photo vs Photo illustration – I marvel at the tools of today exhibited and advertised in the photo market. From apps on phones to editing software. I also think while it serves to make some beautiful photos they are illustrations as far as I’m concerned. I’m not talking about some minor cropping or tonal adjustments I’m talking about physically altering the subject matter and making another reality. It’s an illustration, something that is created, not the original. Adding and subtracting elements of images is not a photo. Anyway, why does everyone want to remove the people swimming around them? Do you like to be so self-centered that it’s just you and the ocean? That there aren’t throngs of people there enjoying it a few feet from you? Hell, I’m glad to have friends, family, and even strangers for the most part on the beach with me.
I’m not going on some kind of crusade but there were standards at one time in publishing that has been totally blurred with technology. I don’t have the interest in altering the reality I saw when I took the shot. And if I do I will mark it as a photo illustration.
Maybe that is a good name if I start my own photography company. Imperfections R us.
Random Thoughts of the Day
- Paranoia will destroy ya. – once said in a song by the Kinks. I agree with them.
- Hard work keeps a lot of people young. It also makes a lot of old people older before their time. No wonder why the goal is to retire young.
- I’d love to make words sing here, like a well-composed song.
- “Wondering aloud will the years treat us well,” says the group Jethro Tull. And I say so far so good.