THREW Mikes EyEz

Original Writings, Images, Video and Artworks of Mike Hartley

Tag Archives: relationships


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Relationship and Learning

Which relationship has taught you the most about yourself? – Interesting ask from the daily prompt.

Being I’m approaching 5 decades of marriage to my better half, it’s certainly her. So many things we’ve been through together and learned through that time. Some very fun lessons and some difficult ones.

The relationship we have with ourselves can also be a learning one if you are honest with yourself. If you learn from the own decisions you make, then you progress. It helps to be happy with yourself so you can learn other things about yourself. Me, myself and I are always learning.

This question made me think of a lot of things different relationships have taught me. I’ve had some very close friends that have shared great insights and experiences that taught me more about myself.

Work friends who taught me things like confidence in my professional abilities. Many of these work friends became more than that and I just call them very good friends now.

I know he didn’t intend it that way. But my dad, passing a young age taught me a lot about myself. Though I think life might have been better if he could have shared his knowledge with me.

A black and white photograph of a man and a boy playing with a ball in a grassy area, with residential buildings in the background.
Dad showing me the proper grip on a football. This is the last shot of us together.
Photo by Shirley Hartley


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Meeting someone

The daily prompt wants to know – How did you meet your significant other?

We met like people did before technology. We were at a club where live rock bands played. I think it was called the Hollywood Palace at the time. The friend I was with asked her friend to dance and we started talking at the table. In the conversation I found out where she worked and went there and asked her out for a date.

Things seem so different now with technology. But nothing really has changed. People meet one way or another. I guess what is very different is that you have a ton more information about a person when starting off. We had to learn about each other slowly and from what we said to each other and what friends told stories about over a period of time.

Nothing we did back then was recorded or taped. No cell phones for easy communication or internet to find out about someone.

Remember when you had to meet parents the first time?

I think there was a different level of respect for each other.

I guess I got lucky. We are still together and I haven’t had need meet a significant other again.

A man and a woman sitting on a dock, facing a scenic waterfront with boats and a radio tower in the background.
Photo by Mike Hartley


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A ghost

This image hit home for me. I wish it was a self-portrait. I feel myself in it. I feel like a ghost sometimes. He did have a grey beard like me. It was a very foggy morning which made it feel a bit surreal.

Do you ever feel invisible? I know I do. I was listening to a story today, another sad one about people behaving so poorly and trying to make them invisible, that it confounded and disappointed them in what they thought were friendships. We discussed friendships a bit and how they change over time. How people negatively affect others and change dynamics for the worse when pretending to be something else.

Truth be told there are very few people, if any with you in life. I was going to say your parents, but there are far too many cases where parents weren’t parents and weren’t there for their children.

I might add this image to my list of favorites. Photo by Mike Hartley

And the older I’ve gotten the less I see people looking out for each other over the decades. Being honest and supportive of each other. Being helpful to one another. Being selfless. Being without prejudice. Maybe that is just my world. But images I see around the world show me that cruelty doesn’t seem to have borders.

Greed, power and individualism have expanded. If we can’t build some more serious bonds, we will fail together. We can’t seem to hold families together let alone friendships.

I’ve gone out for decades before sunrise in Ocean City and Bethany Beach when visiting. And it seems every year there are more people joining in for the joy of the sunrise. I’m taking that as a sign of hope. That people are appreciating the little things. That they have appreciation for nature and our home. That they come for the solitude, quiet and wonder being shared by everyone looking outward. And hope for a better today and tomorrow.

Fellow sunrise observers. Photo by Mike Hartley