THREW Mikes EyEz

Original Writings, Images, Video and Artworks of Mike Hartley

Tag Archives: loss


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House of Pain

I chose the title of this post (House of Pain) because a song titled that came up this morning on a mix I was listening to. That song always causes me to pause and think about pain.

Today is the anniversary of my mom passing. 15 years seems like a long time, and no it doesn’t feel like yesterday, but it also doesn’t feel like 15 years. Mom meant the world to me, and she tried to make our home and my life and my sisters the best possible. And she did a great job.

No home is perfect. Families struggle with mental and physical health issues. Financial and career problems. Addiction monkeys on members. Trying to have a family meal together but family members are going off to war. The day-to-day pressures of life and relationships.

I’ve seen a lot of pain in a lot of households. And enough in my own home growing up.

A woman in a striped dress sits at a table, crafting with scissors. Various artificial flowers are arranged on the table, alongside a framed photograph and decorative items in a cozy, vintage-style room.
Mom doing one of the things that made her happy. I still have that picture of her and my father in the background on the shelf above my desk.

Families though have many things hidden to others. Ours was no different. But things only stay under wraps for so long.

In going through some more old family things yesterday and today I was reminded of some very worst of times. Tragic events that eventually lead to my father’s death. These must have shook her to the core and caused a lot of pain.

They lumped in with many others in my memories of that time that I didn’t realize the seriousness of or was shielded from it at the time before I was 5. But by time I was 6 or 7 years old, I knew serious things were happening. At 9 I was fatherless and at 42 mom was a widow.

I don’t know anyone who had dealt with more pain in their life than her. And I wasn’t the best of help in my teenage years shortly after his passing. I’m glad I changed and helped make her life better.

She had some good days later in life but her first 50 years were a struggle of epic proportions. Losing both of her parents at a very young age. Growing up in the Great Depression. A husband away in WWII and Korea. And many other personal family issues she dealt with my father and stayed by his side and tried her hardest to help him. She also had a great deal of courage facing physical problems both early and late in life.

I’m glad I have memories of better times with her, but I will never forget the sounds of her crying when I was young.


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Losing it

I wrote about – What would you do if you lost all your possessions? – last year in a post called Lost in answer to the daily writing prompt.

So today I’ll write about another type of loss. The loss of physical abilities. Age is quickly showing me limitations I’ve never had to deal with before.

Life is about adapting. All through life. As a senior though you get tired of adapting, when suddenly you’re faced with a whole new set of issues.

Life without the energy or limitations that make things that were easy in the past a challenge now. I can see why some older people become more sedentary. The desire to keep fighting through challenges diminishes over time.

I hope I never hit that point but it’s possible. I have to keep working on my mindset to overcome. My sight was the first sense to start to fade. I picked up glasses about 15 years ago. I’ve run into a few other physical issues that affect me periodically but I’m dealing with those successfully. They slow me sometimes, but I focus on other things I can do so I’m not losing time or effort.

Being positive and looking forward are good skills in adapting to the changes your body and mind go through.

I’ve never been one on strength training with weights. Just here and there throughout my life. But as a senior I’m working with dumbbells every day now. I’m stretching every morning and sometimes in the evening.

I’m walking more now than I can remember in a few decades.

I know if I’m fortunate enough to live a lot longer that I’ll lose physical abilities. Maybe even more senses. I just hope I don’t lose the mindset to overcome. And I guess that holds true for possessions also.

Finding a way. Photo by Mike Hartley

See others thoughts about lost possessions here.