THREW Mikes EyEz

Original Writings, Images, Video and Artworks of Mike Hartley

Tag Archives: family


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Philly and back

We attended my wife’s uncle’s funeral services today in Philadelphia. Picking up my brother in-law and sister in-law on the way up. Leaving before the sun came up and getting back as it had set. The service was very nice. We had lunch, got some Philly Soft Pretzels and some bakery goods.

My better half and her family are from Philly originally before moving to the suburbs of Baltimore. So, all their family is from there. It’s a great group of people and this leaves only one Aunt still alive and kicking strong. Her husband passed, 13 years ago. He was a fellow lifer in the newspaper business like me, so we hit it off very well. He worked for the Philadelphia Inquirer and I worked for the Washington Post. I miss him greatly. His children and wife are always so welcoming and seem so glad to see me.

After spending about 6 hours behind the wheel today on interstates and city streets not totally clear of the weekend’s snowstorm, I’m back at my desk and ready to ready to create more useless space on the internet.

But before I get back to my twisted programming.

A Couple of Takeaways from Today –

  • Family is important and can be a great source of support and strength.
  • Life is short. And uncle Ron lived to 92. And I know he thought it went by in a flash.
  • Faith and love can carry people a long way in life.
  • It’s very hard to carry on without your longtime better half.
  • Holding hands is a sign of deep love. Especially when the same person has been beside your side for a long time.
  • I don’t deal well with death. It brings back very difficult memories.
Goodbye Uncle Ron. Photo by Mike Hartley


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Traditions

The daily prompt is asking to – Write about a few of your favorite family traditions.

My favorite is the family trip to the beach each year. It’s the time together that we don’t get to spend the rest of the year. Watching grandchildren enjoy the beach, water, games and food is a treat for us grandparents. And the time to catch up with our own children and learn more about their lives.

We just did something for the second year in a row now and I think it’s going to be a tradition. Last year for my wife’s birthday the kids and grandkids were over to go out to dinner. Low and behold the surprise was they were going to all spend the night here. If you don’t know, the most precious gift is time itself. It’s a great evening together. The grandkids have the run of the house and our own kids love being back in their home. We made a huge breakfast the next morning and continued the fun. It’s a great way to celebrate.

Family walk. Photo by Mike Hartley

Over time some traditions fade or morph into others. I’ve been thinking about establishing some new traditions for the family and friends. I’m going to host a summer family party at the house. And hopefully revive our summer fishing expeditions. I’d like to get back to having a periodic lunch with my son. And maybe add a few more with my daughter.

Family traditions are great. They help keep families together and in contact with each other. No family or friendship is perfect and there will always be people who choose not to participate. But keep trying because the positives for the people who do choose to share time together is well worth it.


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Reflections

Being in my senior years I have a lot of past Christmases to look back on. From the days in a small apartment with mom, dad and my sister. Too muted Xmas celebrations after my father passed. Then celebrating with my better half and our families together or at each home during the holidays.

Remembering those past celebrations with both a smile and a few tears. Photo by Mike Hartley

And as parents transitioned from their homes, ours became the focal point for family gatherings. Both our parents have been gone a while now even though at this time of the year always seems closer than it was.

Holiday are times of highs and lows for me. Not much middle ground. Our children and grandchildren provide much of the joy. But those times alone and even when together I get pains of those who were so loved but missing now.

Sometimes I smile when thinking of Christmas’s past. Sometimes it brings tears to my eyes. I guess those strong memories will never fade and always be part of the celebration and sadness.

So many struggle with the perfect gift. So many are under the pressures of travel and stresses associated with that. Then there are the struggles of family who aren’t on the same page. We have a few family members who have removed themselves from everyone. My own sister being one of them. I kind of feel sad for them but that was their choice and the only thing I can do is control how I feel and not worry about their decision-making process.

It’s hard to remember some Christmas seasons after a significant loss. I’m sure my son and his family will have mixed feelings, this one being the first without their beloved pet. She was such a part of celebrations because I’ve never seen an animal unwrap gifts like a human before. So gentle to just remove the paper.

I’ll be spending a lot of time checking in with friends and extended family the next few days trying to spread some joy and cheer.


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Happy

When are you the most happy? – the daily writing prompt wants to know.

When I’m playing or holding my grandchildren. If I can make them smile and laugh. If I can teach them something. If we can share a meal. If they open a present. When they want to ride the tractor with me. When we run through a sprinkler or swim in a pool on summer family vacation. When I get to wake them from their afternoon nap.

Bonus happy – if their parents (my children) are also there watching us play and be happy.

I’m always 100% behind my family. Photo by Mike Hartley


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Cool to me

What’s the coolest thing you’ve ever found (and kept)? – Asks the daily writing prompt. In my answer last year, I focused on some seashells in a post called Things Kept

This year I’ll share another thing. In going through some of dad’s things many years ago after he passed and I found two postcards that I keep over my desk. They were addressed to me when I was barely a year old. They were from my dad when he was in St Albans Naval hospital in New York.

My mom must have tucked them away after he passed. The ink is fading badly on one. It’s one of the few things I have with his writing to me. On the address he wrote out my full name with middle initial. But started the card with – Mike, this is your first postcard. I love you and your wonderful mommy. Don’t get in bed with Mommy. – And he signed it, Jim.

The second says – Dear Mike, Daddy is thinking of you and hope you are being a good fella for your mommy. Kiss mommy and little Lorri for me. Be a good little boy and lots of love. Dad

I’m not even sure why they have come to mean so much to me. Maybe it’s the time we didn’t have when I was an infant and toddler and then at 9, he was gone. The time we had after that was the most difficult time in his life. And that is saying something being he grew up in the depression, enlisted in the Navy a year before WWII started and was also in the Korean War and went on Operation Deep Freeze.

I know postcards don’t sound cool. But to me it’s kind of special, sort of like a connection to him from the start.

I’ve also found several ribbons and medals and photos of his years in service. But I found an old box also that I believe was his father’s because it had things from WWI in it including a Purple Heart.

View others Cool Things they have kept here


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Last week

I was on a bit of a hiatus early last week. Helping my son and daughter in-law by watching their son and dogs while we were being blessed with a new granddaughter. They returned home on a bright sunny day and to everyone’s waiting arms.

I hope the homecoming was as special for them. It felt special to me. Watching their son interact and talk to his new sister. To see her not even startled by the bark of the dogs.

My better half remembered to bring decorations, so I got up early with some crea paper and assorted streamers, my roll of tape and a chair. I’m not sure how many more years I’m going to be climbing around my home and others preparing for celebrations, but this one was without injury.

Life is great with an infant in your arms, they melt your heart. It’s funny though, after a little while I noticed an old pain when I noticed myself in hunched over position holding her that was creating it.

Then again it could have been that almost 3 year old toddler running full speed at me and launching into my arms for 4 days. He didn’t catch me off guard once this week. The dogs ran a couple of crossing routes that NFL receivers would have been proud of and picked me off coming down the stairs, without a flag being thrown. Good thing the wall saved me from falling out of bounds.

Sorry about the football references, it is draft time.

But back to the important stuff. The name my son and daughter in-law chose is very dear to me because her middle name is my father’s first name. Not that all my grandchildren haven’t brought a tear to my eye, but this one was made very special. It’s been almost 6 decades since my father’s passing. He saw so little of his own family and never my own, or my grandchildren. I’m looking at the picture of him on my desk with a big smile. I’m smiling for him today.


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Time together

Describe a positive thing a family member has done for you. – I like it when the daily writing prompt wants something positive.

I’ll go with the most recent thing but it’s indicative of their actions. My children try their hardest to make time for me. Like yesterday when my daughter made time for lunch and a walk for just the two of us. My son also makes an effort often. It’s so rewarding.

Time is a wonderful gift. It leaves me with a positive feeling of being loved.

Take a break and spend time with your children. Photo by Mike Hartley


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Bike and Stuff

I was editing some photos and came across this shot I was just about to trash and remembered taking it because it was a unique bike rack I found I Berlin Maryland on a visit there. Riding a bike is a lot of fun. Good exercise but a great way to see things.

We usually ride bikes at the beach and some at my friends bay home on Kent Island. But I don’t own my own bike yet and I think I’ll change that this year. When it warms some I think I’ll go pick one out. And maybe look at a bike rack for the car so I can take it with me.

Custom Bike Rack. Photo by Mike Hartley

Weather

Finally, a slight break from that frozen grip of winter. I think I’ll start to build our home and emergency preparedness in the coming two years. We are already going to upgrade our less than adequate attic insulation.

Our gutters and roof are in good shape but our doors and windows could use some work. WInds in this area seem to be more prevalent than in the past. So some trees that are in falling distance of the house on my property might get a trimming or removal. We have two beautiful oaks out front that have been struggling the last two years. At least I can save those for firewood.

I’m going to work on a few drainage issues also. Some neighbor made some changes that is causing excessive runoff into my lower back yard along the property line. I’ll get some stone and build the gully back up and make it so it won’t cause washouts like it does now.

Then it’s on to power issues later this year. I have a small generator but it’s not tied into our panel so our well pump won’t run without power which means in addition to lights we have no water. So it might be time to look into something beefier and tied in.

I could go on but I’m seeing more extremes in weather so I’m going to do our best to prepare.

Wishing everyone a peaceful and happy Sunday evening.

It’s almost dinnertime here so I’ll leave you with a family dining outside on a summer afternoon in Berlin Maryland. By the way if your there the Atlantic Hotel and Rayne’s Reef are great. I think we will pay this town another visit this year. Maybe their Peach Festival.

There is nothing, that beats a family meal together. Photo by Mike Hartley

Random Thoughts of the Day

  • I guess I’m getting older. Scammers are sending me more texts, emails and phone calls.
  • Sleep is something your eyelids need.
  • I have been a bit slack this month in keeping up with some of my favorite blogs.
  • Spending time with family, is a good way to get my priorities right again.
  • Unfortunately I’m a history buff, and that is why recent events and words make me fearful for my children and grandchildrens


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Observation

Attending the Endless Summer Cruisin event in Ocean City I observed many wonderful pieces of rolling art. But, I also observed many couples and families enjoying and sharing the passion and joy of a family member.

Like the smile of this young one below at the crowd that lined the boardwalk parade of cars.

The details in some of the paint jobs were incredible. Photo by Mike Hartley

I saw it over and over. Kids on the laps of parents behind the wheel or holding on.

Photo by Mike Hartley

Couples riding together.

It warmed up later for these two. Photo by Mike Hartley

I think I saw a few father/son combinations also.

Even Granny and Grandpa showed up riding high.

I bet there were a lot of young people saying what is this? Photo by Mike Hartley

So it was family, young and old.


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Together again

My son and his wife have returned from a trip and are safe and sound at home again. My daughter returns to her teaching job today to start another new school year. My better half and I are home together again after a few days apart and away from our home.

So normalcy has returned to the family for a few moments. It can be taken or changed in a blink of an eye. I was so concerned about my son and daughter-in-law flying in during those storms yesterday. Any kind of travel is a risk. I was reminded of that driving around a large stretch of the Baltimore Beltway the last few days.

My better half and I had the opportunity to be with our 2-year-old grandson and two dogs for the last few days. I learned a few things. Their 2-year-old is fast. And he is solid. But he is also smart. Maybe more than I. The thing that I adore the most is his sweetness.

Such a natural compassion. Sharing and inquisitive. Devious and funny. Laughing, loveable, and lollipops. I loved it.

Those feet don’t stop moving. Photo by Mike Hartley

Looking forward to the next time we visit and play. He inspires me to create things for him. I do have to work on getting him to stop throwing things. But as my wiser better half reminds me, that’s what they do. Plus his parents are on the case already.

I’ve got to remember that more. I’m the grandparent and I have to let them be the parents. I guess that instinct kicks in. I also have to remember to let kids be kids.

I’m so thankful to have a family so close. We put effort into being together and supporting each other. Are we perfect, nope, but we all do our best.

Watching my grandchildren grow up has been so much fun and I know the coming years will be even better. I hope I can stay active and participate in physical activities with them.

Growing up I never envisioned such joy from having my own family. I never dreamed of it being my premier accomplishment in life. I didn’t know the importance of appreciating it along the way because it passed by so quickly.

So today I savor. I take pictures to freeze these moments in time. I put marks on the doorframe of these grandkids growing taller. I try to teach them new things. And I always try to make them laugh.


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Wonderland

Friday was family day. We all drove up to Dutch Wonderland in Lancaster PA. What a fun day for all. Even though it was overcast and a little drizzle here and there, it wasn’t as hot as hades or a downpour that many of the surrounding areas got.

What a day. Photo by Mike Hartley

What a day for us grandparents trailing the kids and grandkids, my better half and I would look at each other and acknowledge that we loved that sight. Sometimes we carry them, dance with them. Wave to them on rides, watch shows with them, eat with them, run with them, and play in the waterpark with them.

Shower anyone? Photo by Mike Hartley

It was such a grand day and one I look forward to repeating often in retirement. I’ve made well over 100 prints for the family to enjoy.

I managed a little carving today and got the cover off the car for my ride this evening. I’ll throw the tripod in the car and see what I can capture.

Random Thoughts of the Day

  • I thought about mowing but that is as far as it got.
  • The violence continues. Just more high profile today.
  • Didn’t feel like I got a lot done, but the results say otherwise.
  • A very busy week ahead. I say with a smile on my face.


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Tough

I try to not spend time grieving the loss of our parents, I know they all would like us to be happy and live life to the fullest. But the reminders this month are too numerous to avoid. Painful ones of their loss. Some long ago, some fairly recent.

Everyone has different relationships with their parents. Some are incredibly strong and some not so much. It doesn’t mean the love is any less even though it is in some cases. I had one parent that I never got to know much. And one that did the job of two and more.

Families are such fragile things. So many factors in its success or not. A death tore mine apart. And in some ways, it came together. So much of it we have no control over. The randomness of life and death, the opportunities one has or hasn’t, and the education and lessons taught to us or not.

The decisions families make as to where to live affect things greatly. Then the greatest challenge of all. People change. Some people can handle change, some can’t. I’ve seen families split over this and many other factors.

We are all one big family but something has changed and we no longer are looking out for each other and if so only in the emergency exceptions in too many cases. I’ll just continue to do my part and try to look out for everyone in my travels and neighborhood.

Random Thoughts of the Day

  • The day goes better when I see children having fun.
  • Tomorrow is yard battle day.
  • This should be a great weekend with family.
  • The most gratifying day of the workweek. The last one.