Most of us are under the radar. In life, in jobs, in relationships. Think about how well you know the people closest to you. How well do those closest to you actually know all about you. From my observations we know little about each other. Even close and long-term relationships know only a small percentage of a person.
Think of how few people have been part of your entire life. Yes, a lot of you might say your parents, but most of you will outlive them.
I reflect on a lot of long-time co-workers who I spent decades with that only know parts of me. They might know a drive or skill that others, even the closest, never see.
The experiences shared with friends who are no longer with us. The secrets all of us carry. The hurts, the longing, the missed opportunities.
Only the luckiest will know over half a person. Think of all the things you have never shared with anyone. Yes, people may know of events or circumstances, but they don’t know your feelings.
Think of how many things you don’t share each day. And that is normal and good. There should be things that are special to you. Maybe some very tough memories and experiences. But maybe some good realizations or insights.
It could be a simple discovery. For instance, one day late in my career, I realized it was just a job. Duh. Now admitting that isn’t a proud thing, kind of embarrassing so not often shared by me.
How well do we know our own children? I’d like to think well but I’m sure there is a lot I don’t know. As time has gone on, I’m slowly learning about the things I did that made them laugh or embarrassed. I don’t know all their friends. I don’t know how they are when with their in-laws.
I’m a very open person and I’m guessing a fair number of people might think they know me pretty well. They know the pieces I allow them to or share.
I do have a mission of sorts, and this blog is part of it. I’d like my children to know me better and that is why I write here and why I’m starting a book for them.
A good friend just showed me a project, her and her husband together of their family history in a book. A wonderful thing but I’m hoping for a lot more. For them to know more about the person I am. Good and bad. Professional and unprofessional. As a friend to many. As a father and husband.
I have so many holes about my own father and so many questions that will never be answered. It’s an uncomfortable feeling to have and I don’t want my children to have it. Plus, I’ve made so many mistakes along the way in life maybe I can save them from hitting the same potholes.
