Feeling good today because the workweek is over and I’m in the mood to create. So a new year at the doorstep. The calendar changes. The ball drops. Some set off fireworks. People kiss and hug. Glasses are raised. Hope permeates the human spirit. Some pause and shed tears for those no longer able to celebrate with us.

Another few minutes till midnight. It’s going to be strange watching NYC without many people. I wish I had a lot more enthusiasm for the new year and I do in a lot of ways but I also have a lot of worry about it. Our realities have been altered and they changed forever for a lot of us.

But that doesn’t mean we can’t have wonderful lives, wonderful times, accomplish wonderful things. It’s within all of us to make this a better place. I’m doing it for my children and grandchildren and because I feel it’s the right thing to do. So I think I’ll be thankful for what I have been given tonight.

Looking for that silver lining in 2020 I looked back and thought of the following.

Ironically at the beginning of the year last January I talked to my boss about working full time from home. It didn’t pan out at the time but low and behold March rolled around and I’ve been WFH since. And that means I’m saving wear and tear on my nice little Sportster who had issues with the roads in DC anyway. Also no parking cost. But the biggest part about that is the time saved on the drive back and forth of 2-3 hours a day in the car.

We had some caregiver tasks to attend to this year and working from home made that much more manageable. If both of us were still working out of the home it would have been impossible. But I’m so glad it was possible for the family and the mother. It made significant time available to share, with what turned out to be a shorter time than expected.

I have a deeper appreciation for life and what is important in it. I have a much-increased level of respect for the people in the medical and service professions. Not that I didn’t before but what they have done over the past year is the definition of heroic and continues to be every day of the week.

I learned a lot more about people in general. Some good and some bad. I got to know my home a lot better and I like it here. I learned the main reason I eat out at restaurants was the food comes hot out of the kitchen. I learned some will disregard their health and those around them because of politics. I learned you just have to keep trying regardless of the circumstances.

I have a lot of love left to share and I hope I have a lot of time to do it in.

Random Thoughts of the Day

• Remarkable effort doesn’t always result in remarkable rewards unless you count the journey.
• Time to laugh, time to cry. Time to reflect and look forward. Time to say thanks for the time given joy for the time ahead.
• Expanding my mind recently. Don’t worry, there is lots of room up there.
• Well, I think I’ll do some reading to ring in the new year being I’m the only one awake.

I was watching one of the many “In Memorandum” features on the news of all the notable people who have passed this year. It reminds me of how fast life moves past all of us. Many of the names and faces marked special times in history for me. It reminds me to make the best of each day and appreciate those important to me even more. But it also reminds me to work hard on what is important.

Having lost a few close people this year is a more personal reminder. And many more have lost those close to them in unexpected ways and times and they have my sympathies and condolences.

I never did get wrapped up in much of the celebration mode of the New Year. I’ve enjoyed a few blowout parties but not in years, maybe decades. Even though I do understand the marking of time and maybe a renewed start and a reason to let off some steam. And if there were a reason to have a drink, this might be the year. But really we have much work to do in front of us so don’t get too toasted tomorrow night.

Maybe with the parties tapped down this year, fewer people will lose their lives on the road. Maybe you will hug someone a little closer this year. Or maybe postponing a hug. It’s strange times and ones that will change the coming years ahead.

All I know is I’m glad to be alive. I’m glad to have made my way in the world and getting my behind in gear to help others in that regard.

Random Thoughts of the Day

• Children have the most innocent laughs. And the most contagious.
• Some people will continue to take advantage of others, no matter how unethical.
• You know how I quantify a successful day now. If I make my grandchild laugh.
• Reading is fun. Learning is really fun.
• Funny how much acting and posturing is going on over what has been decided.
• Tomorrow we get back on track because the job that pays the bills will be behind me for a few days.

Do you ever find yourself in a tight spot? Well, today is one of them for me. My back is going through some gyrations today that are new to me. Might be time to visit a doctor after all this virus stuff is over. Of course, I dread what is going to be proposed again.

Such is life, everyone has some issues that take us to the body shop from time to time. It’s interesting how different people handle pain. Hell, there are days I handle differently. Some days I have to willpower to power through with some effort. Some days I don’t even let it in the picture, even though it’s always there. Others, like today its inescapable and front and center. Well actually back and from neck to tailbone.

Those are the days I fight the temptation for meds. Thankfully I don’t have too many of those days but the frequency is increasing with age and activity. I’ve seen problems people have from relying on medication and I’m not going that route. I’m not saying it’s their fault, I’m just saying I’ll seek other alternatives before I’m sucking down painkillers each day.

Random Thoughts of the Day

• I started another good post earlier but wanted to put some more into it so now I’m left with this pitiful post.
• New Year’s Eve and Day look to be very wet here. Good sleeping weather in my book.
• The more I accomplish the more I want to accomplish.
• I think I’ll go out to lunch tomorrow (carry-out) but leave a nice tip.
• The election is over, that’s a FACT JACK.
• My goal tomorrow is to turn a small gift into a big one. I got some new large photo print paper as a gift and now I’m going to make some large prints and hopefully make more gifts.

Some days start well. Some days don’t and this was one of them. So that calm mood I’ve been in has gone and won’t be back today. Hey, every day can’t be the best. As they say with the good comes the bad and that is true of all of us.

Usually, when I get in a foul mood I have trouble writing about something positive. Hell, I have trouble writing period when things aren’t going well. So is it better to write nothing instead of maybe being negative? I don’t have the answer but felt the need to write and share an image or two so I’m sorry for the lack of proper attitude today.

I do know when I get down I withdraw. And I’m comfortable with that in some ways but not here. I don’t like the feeling where I don’t want to write or photograph or create something. So I think I’ll pick up the camera and just start shooting and see if I can turn things around tonight. If nothing else I’ll get some practice.

In a meeting with some coworkers the discussion of giving, came up. And I was glad to hear to a man everyone had increased giving this year. I’m not going to preach what organizations to give to. There are countless good ones. If you have questions about a charity this is a good check for them – Charity Navigator. But I will encourage you to think about those less fortunate and act if it is within your means.

Random Thoughts of the Day

• I love college basketball. Go Terps
• Making use of things is important, we have become too disposable and it’s catching up with us.
• I’m seeing the end of year deluge of request for donations. That is the only bad part about donating. Once you do they hound you relentlessly.
• I think I’ll withdraw into my own world a little more. I find it more comfortable there.
• I should have taken a minute to appreciate how nice it was outside today.
• It wasn’t just another year but it was just another year.
• Having a full-time job takes a lot of energy and time away from things I love.

Maybe just maybe, I’ll be able to accomplish a few more dreams. I’m starting to make some changes to make that possible. For a while, I forgot to dream or imagine what I would want. Or if I did I didn’t allow myself the chance at it again. Now I’m visualizing it more and making small steps in that direction. The time to create, blog, the photographs was increased by cutting out some real time-wasting activities.

I got off the couch and from that glazed over staring at the big screen. I’m starting to use the technology when I can to reduce the viewing time needed. Recording some and FF through the commercials. I’ve watched a bit less news and that is ok because I still feel informed.

I planned in some spots. When I got the inspiration I went into my workroom and sketched a few patterns out for cutting later. I patiently went through some older photo directories and found a few things I like that I hadn’t used in the blog before.

I charged all the batteries in the cameras early yesterday and have a day’s shooting of the family to download this evening. Then I’m going to do some more shooting tonight. Mostly inside because the weather outside is freezing. But I’ll be out mid-week shooting some of the local light displays.

Some things I’ve learned recently – or just had reinforced

• The grieving process is as diverse as the individuals processing it.
• If your lucky, there is no end of pride to be given to you, by your children.
• I like pictures of people without masks instead of with.
• Even though applications might be set for checking for updates and making them doesn’t mean it’s happening.
• Intelligence should be shared and not just acquired.
• It’s good to get learning more actively again.

Random Thoughts of the Day

• I’ll celebrate New Years’ when all my family and friends get vaccine shots later next year.
• I see Orange Julius would rather play golf than help the citizens he was elected to serve.
• I think I’ll try to work on my memorization but trying to remember song lyrics so I can sing along better to tunes I like. Today I tried to memorize Brothers in Arms.
• A well operating heat source is not to be underappreciated today.

Well, we made it to Christmas morning. It’s nice not to be working for a change. Some holidays I don’t mind having to work but Christmas isn’t one of them. I’m so glad that this isn’t a year that falls on my work nights. I’m emotionally drained and I’m even dreading returning Sunday night.

It’s early morning now and I remember when I’d still be wrapping the last few gifts for my better half. Oh yeah, that is what I’m doing up now. And yes she does all the wrapping for the kids. But the real memory was the excitement of the children when they were young. Those early years will always be special. They would wake early, some years testing if we were awake or not and just talking outside our door about whether to come in or not. Some years edging down the hallway and peeking into the family room. Then there were a few that just found them in the room and on the bed and declaring it was time and they couldn’t wait any longer.

I remember when we used to take the kids to Rainforest Cafe Xmas week and then we would drive around Howard County and look at the Christmas lights after the meal. My better half loved that. There are lots of special memories each family shares. Sometimes a special dish for the meal. Some give unique gifts. There is always one with the ugly sweater who is the life of the party.

And I could go on with examples galore, but this years holiday to many is different or missing many of the usual trappings and more importantly the people. And on the surface, it doesn’t seem to be stopping anyone from trying to celebrate the best possible way but you know it’s affecting many.

So as they say, keep putting one foot ahead of the other and repeat.

Random Thoughts on Christmas Morning

• You miss some people more on Christmas than most other days of the year.
• I got all the gifts I need before I even unwrap any today.
• If you don’t know giving is the real meaning of Christmas you missed the point. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could have that giving and compassionate spirit all the days of the year?
• Christmas’s meaning has changed a lot over the years for me. Some years the spiritual aspects have been prominent. Other years the focus on our young children’s joy. One year my better half accepted my proposal. One year when I was young the 3 of us just sat at the tree and cried for a very long time before even opening a gift. Some years I’d be driving home on Christmas morning at 5 or 6 am from working all night and have to be bright and chipper in a few hours. This year is very different also with the loss of my mother and father-in-law. So memories of them will dominate parts of the day. Some will remain unspoken and private and special. Some memories might be shared out loud. I’m sure more tears will flow.
• May everyone have a very special day and make the best of a tough situation this year.

Blogging so far is something I’ve never been ahead of in terms of having posts ready to go in advance. I’ve had trouble keeping a daily routine I had hoped for let alone have one or more ready to rock and roll ahead of time. And today for the first time that I can remember, I have a post ready for tomorrow. And you know what, it felt good. So I started another one, this one.

And I thought to myself this was a good transition to make. I was never ahead for the first 6 years and now I think I’ll shoot for never behind. So that might require a different mindset given that I’ve always written pretty much in the present. Maybe I’ll try my hand at some poetry. I know a few friends who just read that cringed and said out loud “DON’T DO IT MIKE” because in my past I used to tinker with it but it was some fairly crude stuff, but in my defense, everyone seemed to laugh a lot. What can I say, I was young and dumb once also. So I guess I’ll work on some other ideas later tonight.

So no more sitting on the sidelines. My mojo is somewhere around here. And once I track that sucker down 2021 doesn’t stand a chance. I’m enjoying finding a few old images and am excited about going out for new ones. I don’t know what has happened but I’m feeling like my creativity made a comeback.

I was watching an interview with Sir Paul McCartney recently and he was asked if when a Beatles tune came over the radio if he turned it down, turned it up, or turned it off. He answered that it took him back to the time when it was being made. Where bandmates were in the studio or a feeling. He was smiling about the good memories that it brought back. And this is what my photography does for me. It takes me back to those moments, and thankfully they are wonderful moments for the most part. Shared times with family, friends, nature, moments in time. I don’t think anyone gets more enjoyment out of my photos than I do.

I’m pretty sure by now my better half is tired of me being home all the time. You see lots of families struggling in confined spaces and with the winter season, it’s a test we haven’t yet faced during the pandemic. I was actually talking to one of my best friends about meeting outside this winter around a fire pit. Now if you know me at all you know I HATE being COLD. And no matter how nice a firepit roaring outside might feel and sound, the only time I’d be comfortable would be the second or two before I would be catching fire from being so close to the pit.

I will power through it because I’d much rather see my friends and laugh together than over a Zoom call, but I do have my limits with cold and precipitation. So the day after Xmas I’ll be ordering a fire pit. That will give us two meeting spots. Oh crap, that means I’m going to have to split that cord of logs I have sitting on the side of the house.

More Random Thoughts of the Day

• Some people have an amazing power to do just as much or more even when they aren’t feeling good.
• I took my car out for a quick spin yesterday. There is nothing like driving a stick shift because driving a manual is driving. Plus I told the kids when Dad starts missing gears take his keys away.
• Can you imagine how crowded the first live concerts are going to be once things start returning to normal?
• Is it wrong to bring your favorite outdoor lounge chair inside and use it during the winter?

I’m going to hunker down and hopefully ride out that storm that is coming through. Not really what we need on Xmas eve. I have to get my behind outside and secure the lights better and bring things inside. Might just leave them unplugged with gusts of 50mph expected. That flood watch is a nice treat also. I guess we have to take a little bad with all the good we have in the “Land of Pleasent Living” aka Maryland.

I’m just hoping the power stays on with the temps taking a massive drop on Friday. I may have jinxed us though. I was chatting with a neighbor as we cleared our driveways of snow last week and commented that it’s been a good year in keeping the power on.

I love being at the beach when storms roll in. The view and distances and far greater than I have at home with all the tall trees.

Bethany Beach. Photo by Mike Hartley

Wrapping a few gifts will feel good. Picking up a cherry candy cane feels good. Seeing the kids smile will feel great. But the loss of loved ones might be an equalizer to what should be a joyous time. The chance to process loss is stunted by the busyness of the holiday. The holiday brings thoughts of people walking through the door that won’t be. A favorite dish that will be missing. An encompassing embrace, kiss, and smile that went right to your heart lost. The tight grip on your hand in a certain way for a longer than normal time and warmth it translated isn’t there this year.

Our ranks are diminished. All 2021 will be is a series of birthdays and holidays and anniversaries that are changed. Having lost my parents before my in-laws, more time has passed and allowed me a different perspective. The loss hurts and it always will, it just hurts differently now. I do have more smiles now than I did in the past when I look at their pictures. Christmas, their birthdays, and mine and dates they passed are the most difficult times, but also times I feel happy thinking about them again instead of just the hurt of missing them.

Then your own children step up and their children start to help take the place of the missing pieces and allow you to enjoy life and events again. And now when those waves of emotions hit they sometimes have a chuckle and smile at the end of it instead of a feeling of depression. But this year, we take a few steps back. We learn to miss what was never missing. We learn how to support each other in new ways. We are strong for our children who are also missing grandparents.

We will think, we will love, we will cry, and maybe we will laugh. I think I heard Jim Valvano say that if you think, are brought to tears, and laugh that you have had a full and wonderful day.

Random Thoughts of the Day

• I have one wish for today and tomorrow. That my power stays on.
• The more I get up and move the better I feel at that moment. It’s later I worry about.
• So much to be thankful for, I just have to smile.
• I’m almost at the point where I’m keeping up with my followed posts daily again. Noticed I said almost.
• I’m starting to make a dent in the things I would hate to leave undone or unsaid.

Top of the day to everyone. I’ve blinked my eyes and the year has vanished except for a few straggling days. But I hope to make the best use of them and close 2020 strong. In some ways, this isolation is helping me learn a little more about myself. Hey, if nobody else is around I can’t blame anyone for not getting my lazy behind in gear.

Instead of taking the waves standing up, I need to start diving into them. Some years I’ve attacked them but this past year I didn’t utilize my abilities as best I could. So I’m utilizing these last few days of 2020 to build some momentum into the new year. Trying to work smarter and harder, more focused on constant practice and finishing projects and ideas.

There was a couple of life-changing events this year and it will be different going forward. I’m afraid people aren’t getting the message despite all the suffering about how precious life is. If you want to see how little it matters to some, just take a ride in the car.

I think I’ll try to make 2021 count for something more. It’s time I got to thinking more about the environment and helping it instead of hurting it. I’m going to try to increase my donations and if this virus stuff clears I’m going to start volunteering some time. I want to not just be a good father and grandfather I want to be a great one.

I’d like to take a giant step towards becoming a better photographer. There are some big projects around the house to complete this coming year. I’d like to work from home for the remainder of my current career. (that will be a nice one if I can make it happen)

But hell, I’ll be happy just to survive another year, drive to the ocean with the top down and witness some more sunsets on the bay in OC like this or sunrises on the ocean Atlantic ocean in the morning.

I’m going to try to reach out to my last remaining immediate family member again. I hope to get a reply. I worry I won’t. I worry about her. Some people’s lives are far more difficult than others. I’m going to keep trying each day. I just want to know she is safe.

I’ve seen other families struggle with the same issue. Family members separated in many ways. I wonder if people think about when it might have been a different and good time around the holiday season? I know I’ve always missed my parents during the holiday seasons after their passing. But having living family members who aren’t in touch is a different kind of missing.

Random Thoughts of the Day

• There is something enjoyable about going to bed just before or after sunrise, even when your old.
• Listen to the music, and then listen to some more. If you aren’t dancing listen to some more. There you go, move those hips like Jagger.
• For parents watching children and thinking it’s getting overwhelming at times due to the pandemic, stop and think about the time when things are getting back to normal and you wish you had more time with your children.
• Time to get the cameras cranked up again.
• Remember to start easing your pets into a new routine before you have to return to the job full time if you are one of the ones lucky enough to be working from home now.
• Shine on you crazy diamonds.

Even though it is the second day of winter my mind is in a warm spot. Mainly because I was going through some old photos of friends and a fishing trip we took to Florida a long while back. I’m in the process of finding some of my best friend’s images and events and covering an office wall with them. Can’t wait for them to be able to come over again in the future where they can look and laugh. If they find something they like that I haven’t given them already, I’ll just give them a bigger print.

I really hope to start getting the use out of this Canon printer. It’s a nice one and I love having that ability at the tip of my fingers. Yeah, it’s not professional quality printing but it’s fine by me and most people seem to love them. It feels good to really get moving again. I guess having a few relaxed minutes to devote to the task is a lot more satisfying than doing it in seconds or minute intervals at times.

So back to those warm thoughts. My mind wandered to the day that it might be possible to return to the beach safely again. Yes I know I can still go to the beach anytime I want, but to stay and relax and interact with people is what I’m thinking. I’ve always liked the look of this B&B called the Abby Sea in Bethany Beach and I’m going to add it to our list of places to try in the future.

All you can do now somedays is hope for the opportunity to do something on your list at some point in the future. And that moving target is getting depressing to many. I think it’s ok to drift into some fantasy thoughts of something that might be totally out of grasp now or even in the next year. But having hope for it will make it that much sweeter one day when it’s possible again.

Random Thoughts of the Day

• The shopping is finished today.
• Many days I miss having a motorcycle. But cold winter days aren’t one of them.
• There are only so many opportunities that come by in a lifetime. They are measures by the days on the calendar you can cross off.
• I think we had better get better at adapting to change because it’s coming fast and furious again.
• I wonder how many Xmas wishes came in for “just let the family be safe.”
• I’ve gotten the stay inside part of hibernating down, now if I could do better at the sleeping all winter part I’ll be in business.

I haven’t had a chance to get the battery out of the rider yet and obviously by this picture below I’m late again in my efforts. Now at least I have an excuse not to do it till this stuff melts which I hope is soon. It’s just been one of those years. Well, maybe I should have said one of those kinds of years. Or maybe better yet one of those years of a lifetime.

Unfortunately, its been and continues to be a devastating year for so many. I’ve been trying to work with family and friends to maintain some sense of normalcy but at the same time have people be safe. And I struggle with this greatly because I’m probably much more cautious than others. So I’m in situations that I find uncomfortable from time to time.

I can’t wait for the day I can relax again. But until then I’ll just make the best of the situation possible. And hopefully, that will be this week when I have a few days off. I got a great start on a few projects and I’m going to keep it going.

I find myself apologizing for the absence of posts the last month or two. I’m going to try to get back on that daily train and keep my ridership up to par. It’s a far more difficult task than I imagined. Not because I find it difficult to do when I start it’s finding those few minutes to get cranked up and crank out a useless gem.

It’s not because I’m a slow typist. I’m fairly fast. It’s not for a lack of images or thoughts rambling around in this mixed up head. I used to think it was about making it the highest priority but we all know that is a false goal because there are far more important things in life.

And that is the key, finding the way to do all those critical things (family, friends, and work) and still find a few minutes for your own priorities and interest. I’m going to try a few changes and see if this makes it easier for me to accomplish my goal. Instead of posting late, usually, just before midnight I think I’m going to do a morning post. I’m trying to set up a little studio space in the basement when I don’t feel good enough to get out and shoot or when it’s just too inclement.

I hope to be entering a period when I can be under a little less stress which also makes the ideas and thoughts flow much better. Hopefully, it will inspire a more positive tone also. And then there is the big step of learning all the tools available to make this an easier and more entertaining visit.

But in the meantime, I send my thoughts out to the many struggling through a somber holiday season and my wishes that future ones be bright again.

Random Thoughts of the Day

• The effort really shows no matter where you choose to make it.
• Wearing headphones to start the day’s music off is so limiting. I can’t get up and play air guitar freely. But others need their beauty sleep. I don’t know why though, she is the prettiest thing on earth.
• I cherish some of the notes I kept from my children when they were young.
• After a short time, I’ve got to find a way to get the family to celebrate life again.
• Do you ever have the random thought “I need bacon” just pop in your head? Please tell me I’m not alone.
• I think I went too long without change because some of it as of late feels very good.

So many thoughts in the last 36 hours. So many plans changed. So much pain inflicted because these are far from normal times and normal activities aren’t permitted. Not being able to be with a loved one in their last weeks and moments might be one of the more difficult ones. And the thought of them alone without family is unbearable. But they are not alone. There is usually a team of medical people around them. No not their family but people with feelings and compassion and an amazing ability to be there for those in need in a hospital.

Just like when the medical training they received kicks in during emergency situations I believe their human abilities are also called into action and this is the special blessing all these nurses and doctors and staff and administration have. A strong level of compassion that makes a person passing at ease. We met a few of these nurses Thursday night. We had never met before but they were very comforting to us and by their account, they were comforting to her. And I looked into their eyes and I believe that in my heart that was true and was thankful for them.

This scene is being thrust upon these medical people and it’s not like their job wasn’t difficult before this. So thank you to the staff at St Agnes Hospital last evening.

But back to the process of grieving. There is no process. Those normal support systems and rituals are changed. And there isn’t much that can be done in certain situations. And it has to be accepted as hard as it is for families. I don’t know what would be equal to this kind of thing.

I’ve done a little reading about this because it’s impossible to avoid the hundreds of thousands of people dying without being able to be with family. You see news stories on it and a lot of people are experiencing it. Even the people without the virus who are sick and passing are affected as it was for us.

Early on in the pandemic with a lot of older people passing I was intrigued by how close long-term couples would pass so close together. Even before the virus, this seemed to occasionally hit the news. I saw the terms like the widowhood effect or broken heart syndrome used. I believe I witnessed this in the last few months. Despite a valiant effort by the family, I think her heart just wanted to be with her husband who preceded her. And after a few months, I guess they couldn’t stand to be apart any longer after over 6 decades together.

It’s going to be a very different holiday season this year. Every family experiences loss and all are faced with these tough times. This year they have been very different and added a level of stress and pain that was avoided in previous years. And again people are going to face it more alone and isolated time from each other when the opposite is the norm for this coming holiday.

So keep holding on, support each other any way possible, find the pictures with their smiles and put them in your heart.

Random Thoughts of the Morning

• Letting my fingers do my talking makes more time for listening. But I do enjoy talking also as my friends and family can attest to.
• I could get a lot more done if my back would cooperate.
• Good art is good art no matter what medium. And good art comes from the pleasure of the eye of the creator and beholder.
• I should get my behind outside and take some fog pictures this morning because we are socked in.
• If I don’t start working on proper posture, I won’t have any left to mold.
• I’m blessed with some really good friends.

You start the week thinking will the weekend ever get here. Everyone is working for the weekend in some fashion. Weekends to recoup and regroup. And then you blink your eyes and suddenly those weekends are numbered before retirement when every day becomes a weekend. A number that doesn’t seem that great.

I’ve always loved weekends, be they short or long, be they wet or dry, warm or cold. Time to lay in bed with your better half. Time to do some chores about the home and relax afterward instead of getting up and going to work or cutting sleep short.

You all know how fast weekends go by. And now I know how fast careers go by. Yes, I have a retirement career planned out but it’s much different than the standard work life I’ve had for over half a century. I have a few years left but it feels like a few short weekends, to be honest. Workweeks fly by now almost like they have been accelerated. Weekends feel more satisfying because there is a really big weekend on the horizon.

I can’t believe life has moved along so fast. I want to go back and do it all over again. Sort of like feeling the best amusement ride and wanting to get right back on as a kid. I have so much to be thankful for, and at the same time, some pain went along for the ride. But that is just life.

So what to do today to get busy with life? It’s cold out so that ruled out opening the front door. Seems like I just get up and the sun starts to set and the full night of work will be on the horizon. So there are still precious minutes to be used.

Random Thoughts of the Day

• As Ron White said, “You can’t fix stupid.” But it is a lot easier to spot it nowadays.
• I find myself stopping to say a prayer for someone who has said many for me. Even if I made it a daily habit I’d never catch up to her.
• It’s good to reprioritize through life. Just don’t overdo it.
• Pick someone and try to ease their worry. They aren’t hard to find.

Today I’m taking a pause. One might ask from what? I’m not sure of the answer, all I know is I need to let my mind rest a bit. Yeah, I have to work a full night. Yeah, I’ve got some bills to review. I’ve got dinner to fix and I probably will be disturbed by the news. But I’ll be in a different mental state. I’ve had several emails and chat’s today but the only thing that matters was hearing my daughter’s voice and my better half’s voice and eyes. And if my son calls I’ll have drawn a royal flush. Sometimes it’s good just to break down a day into small victories and not let them pass insignificantly along with the thousands of interactions of the day.

It’s hard to jump off that moving train but that is what is needed more now than ever. Think of how stress filled the holidays usually are. Now add the madness of what we are in the middle of. I can’t imagine what the next month will be like. So I’m just going to pause a few times a day and regroup. Think smart, make due, and not get pulled by the seat of my pants into despair.

So many things give me pause that just come out of nowhere. Children, sunrises and sunsets, horses running in a field, a beautiful Harley, or classic hot rod. The sounds of waves hitting the beach, listening to the quiet when it snowed.

Lately, a few people I know have passed and that has given me pause. I also worry about a few living people and that has given me pause. And I’ve taken the time to reach out to a few and have a few more to touch base with soon.

So take the pauses you need to stay fresh, help yourself and then help others. I think I’ll take a pause and go kiss my better half good night.

Random Thoughts of the Day

• Tonight I thought about how many more times I might be lucky enough to be putting lights on the tree.
• It will be nice to get back to some REAL Facetime with people again.
• Smile and laugh if you can. And if you can’t, fake it.
• Success can be just as easy as letting yourself find it.
• Pain takes away valuable time in life.

Loved watching good drummers in my youth and to this day. The backbone of good bands. And just like a keyboard or bass or guitar or voice, it’s made unique by those who sit behind the set. Some small, some monstrous sets. Some large and some small individuals. I remember my Mom talking about Gene Krupa and I remember seeing Buddy Rich on Carson. And of course, I’ve followed the history of the biggest and smallest bands drummers. A wonderful list too long to go through but a blessing to listen to and see sometimes live. I started down this train of thought only because I saw that Neil Peart’s 2112 drum set is up for sale. But what the hell, go with it as they say.

I’m using music to keep my spirits up. Even though I’m not a big holiday music fan I might even indulge in that this year. I’m also trying to change the beat in my home by mixing up my living space a bit. Nothing drastic yet, just some small changes.

And why not change up my focus a bit. It’s always wise to work on what can be done instead of worrying about what is wrong. I’ve been trying to help my in-laws through some difficult times. I’m trying to be there for friends and I always try with my own family but I can always do better.

Good progress was made this weekend but a price physically is being paid. That’s ok, powered through things before and this will be one of them. Back to work tonight and I think a change of workspace is needed. I wonder if they make good posture chairs with built-in heating pads?

I decided to make an egg for myself and this image presented itself in the pan. It sort of reminds me of the guy who is redefining the term bad loser. I bet his eyes were that big on election night. And yes that was my second double yoke egg out of that dozen.

Random Thoughts of the Day

• 2,403 US personnel died on December 7th, 1941 at Pearl Harbor. Yesterday December 6th, 2020 the running 7-day average daily death toll from the virus was 2,169 in the U.S. We came together as a nation then, why can’t we now?
• I was saddened by the passing of a former CIO who was both a smart and charming person and a battler against many medical challenges. May you RIP Bobbi Lucas.
• I’ve gotten my printer cranked up this weekend and that is great for redecorating the walls of my office.
• Did anyone else notice the tougher things get, the more religious people tend to become?
• I’m tempted to get another camera but won’t until I learn to use the ones I have better.

Good rainy morning to all. I was teaching my granddaughter about raindrops that were falling on the patio table glass outside and making many waves against each other yesterday. I started singing raindrops keep falling on my head and maybe got a verse out before I ran out of words but I kept humming and she was bouncing up in my arms and smiling. I kept humming it till she wanted to move onto the next thing. I kind of wish I could have remembered the words because I think she likes it when I sing. Maybe the only person. Maybe next visit when it rains I’ll get the words.

Yesterday was very productive. I was proud I was able to still crawl in and out of a children’s tent without hurting myself or destroying the tent. I’ve got several weeks of images moved to the portfolio and I hope to get several more completed. And the house smelled of bacon which I love.

I was able to start a few concepts for woodworking projects and today I’m going to go outside once daylight hits and make some initial cuts with the saw to work on inside later. I feel the creative juices working. Let’s see how the execution plays out. Everyone has to start somewhere. And it’s been a very long time so that bike ride might be an interesting one to start. I’ll consider it a success if I come out with all my fingers attached.

Exercise bands are beautiful if you don’t stress them out. Just like people in a lot of cases. While I’m feeling creative I’m also feeling stressed. I’m trying to remember what is the small stuff and keep putting as much as I can in that bin. But then I turn around and see a pile. I guess I should keep shoveling. I’m thankful that so far to have stresses that we can handle and get through, even though they have been very challenging. I worry though about our children and their children. And therefore every child of someone.

Having age and wisdom gives us calm and knowledge we will get through this if we are smart and thoughtful. We were steeled by the experiences of our own parents who lived through the great depression and multiple wars. There are a lot of families that need help this season though. Let’s help them. Pick one, let your church pick one, donate to an organization that can feed one. And if you’re fortunate pick more than one. And be there for our younger generations, help them be safe and focus on what we have instead of what we might be denied temporarily.

Random Thoughts of the Morning

• I labeled this section Random Thoughts of the Morning instead of my normal Random Thoughts of the Day because one of my thoughts was to try to make 2 posts today.
• I think, if we thought of every Tuesday as “Giving Tuesday” we might be better for it.
• The only thing better than the first Coke of the morning is the second one.
• It also might build a better community if every Saturday were Small Business Saturday.
• I could use a better quality slide scanner. I might have to send a few of the good ones out for professional service. My father snapped some great images when he visited both poles.
• I have so much history to dig through at the same time wanting to create something new myself. Ah, the tug and pull of things to do. Isn’t it great?

I’m watching, excuse me, thinking about someone isolated from us medically who is dear. This is the second time this year and it is devastating to watch and be part of. The toll that takes on the person alone in care is one of the silent tragedies of this pandemic. The pain I see in families and friends can’t be measured.

All the normal routines are not possible at hospitals and care facilities. Rotating visits so they aren’t alone. Holding a hand. Being able to make eye contact. Hearing their voice or just them breathing. Sharing a laugh or bad hospital food. Looking at pictures and cards or the beauty of flowers sent by loved ones and friends together or remembering past experiences.

Or in the worst case, not being there as a calming presence for them to leave in peace.

Being able to thank the health care team face to face can’t be done except over a phone by most except maybe the one person allowed in. I’m sure the medical people miss the personal thank you’s and hugs from families. Hearing the news talk about medical staffing shortages due to infections/exposures or just the numbers of patients overwhelming the area hospitals and care facilities is so distressing when you have someone in their care. People should not be alone at critical points in life and death.

Rules on visitations change in levels of restrictions or just aren’t allowed. And I understand and accept them. What is better for the whole outweighs the needs of the one. I’ve always believed and lived by that as my parents taught me. But there is a real and painful flip side of that coin.

I’m dismayed thought by the indifference towards all this suffering. No, not being able to eat out at a restaurant or attend a concert or a big party or football game. I’m talking about medical life and death kind of suffering. I can’t believe simple steps can’t be taken to benefit the whole. I can’t believe we can be so selfish. We have been faced with a great test and we have failed. And we are about to fail another exam in keeping the basics for large groups of people. Food and a roof over their heads to name the most important.

Children going to school is the least of our worries. How many aren’t getting a meal? How many are being abused or maybe just left alone because someone has to work two jobs to stay above water?

The emotional and physical problems brought on by stress over losing a job, maybe a loved one, and being ALONE. Help fight people’s feeling of Isolation.

I’m trying to reach out to people. More calls, more writing, more text. Just trying my part to keep my wide circle of people intact and healthy. And especially to the ones alone.

I was at my first Zoom memorial service this week. It was a wonderful event because it was a wonderful person being honored. But it was great to see so many people’s faces at the same event. Many smiling at parts and many crying at other times. And while I couldn’t reach over and grab a hand to comfort someone or put my arm around them, it was good to join together.

So do what you can not only to keep your loved ones safe but also think of the safety of those who are doing the important care of others. Communicate the best possible and with a positive thought about now and think about how much more special it will be when we don’t have to isolate ourselves from each other.

Random Thoughts of the Day

• I feel guilty for not keeping up with many blogs I follow. Time to change that feeling.
• I also feel guilty about not keeping my posting rhythm up to speed. I had better get to work.
• You know what’s cool. Having a friend post a photo on Facebook you’ve taken of them and see a good number of people comment on what a good shot it is. And remaining silent about it because you took it in hopes of making that person happy and the comments add to their joy.
• Finding old family images is like finding a diamond in a mine.